Stupid Decisions

So, I made a stupid decision last night.  I thought with all of the recent events that have occurred in my life, I should take a moment and go with friends to relax.  Why does relaxing always include alcohol?  In addition, why do I never remember that the experiences in my life have been strong enough to be the support to give me an appearance of sanity? 

So, when you forget those two vital pieces of information, you make dumb decisions.  Let us set the stage...lack of sleep for over a week, a much needed break from work, time after having your husband go through a medical emergency, and TEQUILA.  Oh such a bad combination.  Not physically, I was able to sleep after imbibing and I am awake now at 7:30 in the morning with no residual impairment besides some puffy eyes, yet I am mortified.  For when I drink, all of the good, bad, and ugly that is called my life comes spilling out and most importantly I cry.  I am a strong person and I cope fairly well when in full control of my facilities, but the evil nemisis alcohol makes me turn into a blubbering, ridiculous puddle of goo. 

Normally, that wouldn't be a problem...if I was in the comfort of my home with no one but myself.  But, no....I can't relax in that environment!  I have to do it with co-workers in a public place.  What a moron!  Then, I had to share this loveliness with my sons, so that I didn't drive and kill someone.  I hate you alcohol and all you stand for...I know after all these years being tense and control wins out every time over this absolute embarrassment.  Why didn't I listen to myself?

Well, at least I don't have to see anyone for two weeks and perhaps everyone will forget.  Right....who am I kidding???  Oh well, another wonderful stupid decision in this thing I call my life.

I need coffee.